The power of affirmations and how they’ve helped me

Dear Moms,

This week I wanted to talk about the topic of affirmations?!! I think the first time I stumbled upon affirmations was about 3 years ago when I watched a great movie on FMTV called ‘you can heal your life’ which is a Louise Hay film and speaks about how our thoughts and our language can hugely affect our lives. Shortly after that I downloaded some of her books to my kindle app and got straight to reading.

Firstly, I was amazed and humbled about all her work with Aids patients back in the 80s and that affirmation work was very popular back then however as I was merely a young child living in Ireland I hadn’t caught on to this great tool yet ;0

So now as a new mom, I was curious if affirmations could actually work for me. At this time, I was still recovering from chronic fatigue and peripheral neuropathy and was just about to go back to the corporate world full time. What I needed most was more energy and also less body pain so I started using affirmations and soon I found some favourites and here they are:

  • I say yes to life and life says yes to me (one of Louise Hay’s favourites)
  • I am willing to change and grow
  • I love myself just the way I am
  • I am enough
  • I forgive and set myself free
  • I listen with love to my body messages
  • All is well
  • I am in vibrant health
  • Only good lies before me
  • I am happy, calm and relaxed
  • I am always full of energy
  • I am the creator of my own life
  • I do the work I love

After a few weeks, I started to feel a bit lighter and had an increase in energy. I also started using affirmations if I was feeling a bit anxious about a situation and it helped me feel much calmer.  I did affirmation work in the shower, whilst I was driving, commuting on the train and found quite seriously that my mood was much better and also felt more energised.

What I discovered is that affirmations are simply replanting new seeds in our mind. It can be hard to do in the beginning as our mind is simply not believing what we are telling it…  So, from my research, a little trick that can help in this instance is to start with ‘wouldn’t it be nice’

For example,  wouldn’t it be nice if I am happy, calm and relaxed today… Wouldn’t it be nice if I could do the work I love…, wouldn’t it be nice if only good came into my life today? This statement will be accepted by our subconscious mind until we are able to use the ‘I am’ statement…

Where’s the reward?

So, for me, this took a least a month to feel some changes. You must ‘do the work’ and repeat your affirmations throughout the day (unfortunately, there are no shortcuts!) However, the reward is worth it. As Louise herself says ‘when you plant the seeds in the ground you don’t expect them to grow the very next day, you plant the seeds and then wait as you know they will grow in due time’  I know this can be hard, as some of us (including me) are conditioned to want results instantaneously, however, there is an element of trust and the planting the seeds analogy is a great reminder.

More than anything affirmations really helped me bring an awareness to what my daily self-talk was and what language I was speaking, for example, I became more aware/conscious of how I might put myself down, or how I would not accept a compliment. I was also more aware of my negative words and started to catch myself and be mindful of how I spoke about myself and others. Rok and I would try and hold each other accountable so that we didn’t fall into the negative talk trap/spiral.

Around this time, I gave up watching the news as I found it was so negative and energy draining, there was rarely any good news stories. So, I began to choose what information I wanted to hear and see myself. This was and still is very empowering.

Science has proven that affirmations do work by rewiring our brain! A study published in the journal Personality and Social Psychology in 2015 showed that affirmations helped people at work perform better and calm their nerves! So, it’s not ‘woo woo’ stuff, thankfully it’s becoming more mainstream ;0

Nowadays, I still use affirmations, however, l don’t feel the need to use them as much, which shows how mich I have changed my thoughts and beliefs.  I also regularly share Louise Hay’s affirmations in our Mom’s private Facebook group as her work has really helped me and therefore I want to share this with other moms too.

Also, it’s important to point out (and even Louise Hay says this herself), there is no one panacea – affirmations are part of an self-help toolbox, just another tool to help you with your life’s journey. For me I used affirmations in conjunction with many other things like nutrition, exercise, meditation and energy work, a holistic approach!

Firstly, observing our self-talk can really help us get started on the right path and this helps us with other key areas of our life too, like ensuring we eat healthily and work out our body. Starting with the right mindset means we are able to create more successful habits.  Using this approach really helped me change my life both physically and mentally.

So, Moms, have you used affirmations before and if so please let us know if and how they have helped you.  Maybe you have a favourite… please feel free to share 🙂

Love and best wishes,

Lisa X

PS: ‘All is well’

Resources: 

References

For those days…

Hello Moms,

So on my last blog post, I talked about how I was feeling more mindful lately whilst going about my daily tasks. However, I wanted to highlight that while this is the case I still have some days that are challenging for me and I thought it’s important to share my thoughts and my approach when this happens.

Moms, even though I employ mindfulness and have a regular meditation practice I still have those days where things don’t flow the way I wish they would – and you know this is perfectly normal as we are human after all, trying to raise little humans 😉

My research and readings about the practice of mindfulness, meditation and following certain mentors that I resonate with often don’t talk about difficult times and sometimes just say you have to keep doing the work. Whilst I agree with this and it’s important to keep your meditation practice going I also think it’s important to talk about the days that are challenging and what to do when these days arise.

Challenging days for me include emotions just cropping up from nowhere, or my little one is calling me for the 100th time and I’m feeling quite drained. To wondering what time it is… as all I want to do is go to bed (however its just 1 pm in the afternoon). And/or, I know it’s time to cook the dinner and all I want to do is eat toast, not prepare a nutritious beautiful meal. When I have one of those days then I remember a few things that help me to get through it, let me share this with you:

  1. This will pass:  I remind myself as often as I can that these feelings will pass and if I need to I will have a little cry to release my emotions.
  2. Thoughts are just thoughts: I say to myself ‘my thoughts do not mean anything’  I  learned this from A Course in Miracles Workbook (ACIM), which is one of my favourite lessons from the course, it just means that your thoughts are not ‘real’ thoughts and sometimes our mind makes things out to be worse then it really is. I also use the following affirmation: ‘All is well’ and will say this as often as I need to.
  3. Have compassion: I remember to be kinder and more compassionate to myself. Oftentimes we don’t extend the same compassion to ourselves as we would to our friends/family members. So I will ask myself – if a friend was having a difficult day what would I say to him/her? And I extend the same kindness to myself and take the pressure off.
  4. Remove judgment:  I also stop judging myself for thinking I’m a bad mother, especially when I need time to myself, I will take a break, breathe deeply and make a cup of tea, and often times will write down how I am feeling. It’s surprising how writing down my thoughts will help change my energy.  However, it’s always challenging for me to do this at first, but I always feel better afterward.
  5. Move my body: I will often put on Spotify and dance around my living room (energy permitting) which always makes me feel more uplifted and helps toshift my energy.
  6. Reach out to someone I trust: Sometimes I will give someone I trust a call/text… this is a person who I know will hold space for me (i.e. just listen) and not judge me.
  7. Grateful for my awareness: And, importantly I remember how grateful I am for my awareness that I’m just having one of ‘those days’ and I’ll feel better soon because I always do 🙂

Moms, do you have ‘those days’ and if so what helps you? Love you to share this with me.

Best wishes and Love L X